What the Heck Does OwnMy Today Mean?

So what is with the title of this blog? OwnMy Today?!?

Really, “OwnMy” it isn’t even a word; yet it has become an anchor of who I am today and it one of the most important “words” in my life. It defines how I operate, serve, accept, heal, love, move forward, and experience everything (the good, the bad and the ugly). The idea of “OwnMy” helps me to know I can wake up every morning, put one foot in front of the other, and embrace the constant peaks and valleys of emotions and situations I experience hour-to-hour and sometimes minute-to-minute.

OwnMy Baggage

OwnMy Today comes from a critical day during this widowhood journey when I realized I have major, icky baggage that surfaced the day my husband Tylor committed suicide. Clearly, my “new found baggage” quickly became too big to hide and ignore. So, rather than acting like the baggage didn’t exist…I decided to OWN it. Yes, I definitely have baggage and I like to think that it isn’t dark, dreary and beat up. Rather, it is bright, strong and beautiful; dare I say…stylish (with major sparkle).

Just like I OwnMy baggage, I own everything that makes-up those sparkly suitcases. I own the emotions, the fears, the excitement, the confusion, the adventures, the unknown, the many, “I have no idea how to XXX,” the future, the past, the lack of comfort, the vulnerability, the unexpected, the re-defining, the “new normal.”

One Day At A Time

I OWN the reality that I am a widow as a result of suicide/mental illness. I OWN that I am now a Breast Cancer survivor. I OWN the fact that I am still here. I am still living. I am a woman with hopes, dreams, and faith…experiencing all of this in the best way I know how.

If you have experienced loss, you know that you really have to take it day-by-day (and let’s be real, sometimes hour-by-hour and minute-by-minute). The most I can expect of myself is to simply OwnMy Today….and whatever the day brings.

We All Have Baggage

I go into each day knowing one thing: it is unpredictable, as a result of Tylor’s death. I approach each day knowing that I am doing the best I can and I attempt to give myself (although it doesn’t always happen) extreme amounts of grace and patience…no matter if I am experiencing unbelievable joy or desperate sadness.

Cheers to OWNING “our” beautiful baggage TOGETHER (you know, we all got some baggage)!